You know when you're on a plane and you look out that really small window, mostly because you don't want the annoying person next to you who thinks they are so "personable" that everyone just loves to talk to them, and doesn't realize that in fact all along it has been them that started every single conversation. A conversation in which they have dominated every second and even if you were interested you could never get a peep in, which you clearly aren't (although they haven't got the hint from the upside down book you're "reading" or the ipod you're "listening" to or even the "nap" you took all decked out with the fake snoring). No this beaming sack of personality doesn't know how to take a clue and shouldn't be at the point where they need a clue, It's called social awareness. Why do so many people seem to lack it? If we want to get to where we are going we have to accept the fact that there is a possibility that this person will be sitting uncomfortably close to us, invading all kinds of personal space, even with our legs or arms touching occasionally! It wasn't enough you have to show up 3 hours before your flight to check yourself in, because heaven forbid we work on getting more jobs in this economy, let's work on ways to make more people irrelevant. Then once you finally get checked in, well now you have to go through security. That's right my favorite people TSA. Well let's see what will it entail today. Try and pick a good line, with a good agent (who doesn't care my aftershave is 4 ounces) and hope nothing has changed since the last time you went through this 3 days ago. Oh wait it's Tuesday, is that random hand testing for explosive reside day or you can't have this cup of pudding day. Nope wrong on both accounts. Today is a special day, What a treat - it's go through a full body scanner with unknown amounts and effects of radiation Day. Yippee, now stand completely still with your arms above your head while we examine your private parts. Once we've decided that your package isn't laced with our expert package analysis we direct to an area where you will be "patted down". No one explaining to you that being "patted down" includes a frisk like search of every part of your body with the back and front of the agents hand. That's right - you will be groped and sexually molested today. It is a very special day for you indeed. After all you payed for transportation on a commercial basis and you showed up to take advantage of the service you payed for and by doing that you have given probable cause. This is no longer unlawful search and seizure that is covered by the 4th amendment. Didn't you go through this before you got in your taxi to get the airport? Don't feel like all this is necessary to board a plane? Well not only does the TSA, the safe guards of your transportation, but if you question their "lenient" ways or have the audacity to refuse these searches you will be surrounded by a circle of TSA agent (this is way 10 extras are just sitting around at all times doing nothing) and people in suits that seem to come out of nowhere, but you will also not be allowed to use your phone to call anyone to come pick you up because you know at this point this trip is not worth all this. Oh no you can't go anywhere you must submit to our searches, you are suspicious now, we can't let you go anywhere. If you finally convince these people that you are no longer interested in flying they will threaten you (after they have all your personal information and have made copious copies) with a fine of at least $10,000 for changing your mind to fly. Your only other option as they have explained 32 times now is to submit to the additional screening for the safety of everyone. Because people who don't trust government entities to not abuse their power not only have no right to fly, but are un-American. So you are left with this question, do I let them search me with their hands in a place that has already been exposed and analyzed by their own expert through a full body scanning process or do I leave? Well the person in this story is on the plane with the special treat of being next to chatty cathy, so that and an odd feeling of being violated is his rewards for flying commercial aviation. As he looks out the window that's where I am. I am the guy with the orange light up wands. Oh and yes we can see you when you look out the window, it's not one way.
His name is Mike Mueller and he has an artificial hip so he went through airport security with only a speedo on. I saw this when I was leaving work one day and asked if I could take his picture.
I shook Mike's hand and told him I was proud of him. He was not allowed to fly that day and was later arrested for public indecency.
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